


We Got Older, and I should Have Known

by Yoh_ii



Series: If My Heart Was a House [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Almost Kiss, Durincest, Fluff, Incest, M/M, Sibling-incest, but a definite forehead touch which hey is even better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 10:52:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3407885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoh_ii/pseuds/Yoh_ii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's always next time; and Kili will make sure to be surrounded by nothing but open space and a furlong or two away from any other living being.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Got Older, and I should Have Known

**Author's Note:**

> I need to get out of the writer’s block hole I’ve been in for the past couple of months and do one of the things I love the most; trying to put the images going through my head on paper, or as it turns out, type them down! This is a prompt I got from a prompts masterlist over at Tumblr. As of now, I have around 764 saved, and hope to one day be able to write them all. 
> 
> The title is a line from the song "if my heart was a house" by owl city.
> 
> Also, it's 1am, so I apologize for the errors that are bound to appear.

In hindsight, it shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did at the time. When it comes to being in the company of ten other nosy dwarrows (and one that _thank Mahal_ kept to himself), one hobbit shooting confused glances their way, and one wizard smoking his pipe just across their campfire, privacy was not bound to be gifted to anyone. Mind, it should have. With the orcs and wargs far behind them, and the trek down the outcrop of rock where the giant eagles had left them on- which did a whole lot of good; just how hard would it have been to leave them just below it?- over and done with, privacy shouldn't have been an issue.

Thorin was being fussed over by said confused hobbit, their animosity towards each other apparently forgotten with the life debt easing the way, and Oin who knew better than to take Thorin's "I'm fine" glares with anything but a grain of salt. It was probably an instinct to ignore him now, after all their bruises and scrapes. Oin was probably the only one allowed to do it, and old enough to be immune to said glares. 

Everyone else was kept busy setting camp, an order that had left Thorin's lips as soon as they made way onto more stable ground. Bofur and Bifur collected the firewood and proceeded to make the fire with Gandalf's help- him and his magic tricks- while what was left of their packs and bedrolls were taken out and inspected by everyone else. Bombur went about trying to salvage whatever nuts and berries were leftover, and complained loudly when he found most of his pots and pans missing. This quietly turned into an angry murmur as soon as Dori sharply reminded him that at least they had escaped with their lives. Bombur was usually quiet and the most gentle out of all of them- it was just unwise to get between him and his cooking. Something Kili had learned not to do early on in their journey. 

Balin sat with Gandalf, smoking their pipes away as everyone around them bustled and worried over every little thing. Oh the perks of being old and mockingly moaning about an aching back. Kili didn't buy it for a second. Dwalin was not much better, the slide of smooth, wet stone over his axes not lost in the pooping and sizzling of the fire in the center of their makeshift little camp. One that is supposed to travel for many more weeks and meet a dragon at the end of their journey. The thought was mildly upsetting yet exciting all the same time. Something he knew to keep to himself; he didn't fancy being on the receiving end of one of Thorin's famous, withering glares at the moment. 

Now, he sat a ways away, back resting against a boulder, going through what was left of their weaponry. It was hopefully almost all of it, since no respectable dwarf would be caught dead not keeping their precious artifacts close to their person. Even Ori's slingshot was in the pile, the stretchy fabric tied to each end of the Y looking a bit worse than it started as. Kili quickly re-adjusted and tightened the strap. Wouldn't do good to have the young scribe suddenly pull on it, only to have his fist probably bounce off his own face as it came loose. No matter how much of a hilarious scene it would make. 

A shoulder bumping into his and a barely hidden smirk from Fili told Kili that his thoughts had been completely read, and the smile he didn't even know he was wearing turned just the slightest bit sheepish. They were certainly more grown than when they left Ered Luin some two months ago, and it would probably do their mother a whole lot of good to know that they still had their sense of humor left. However childish it might have been. 

He leaned back, turning now to his older brother, eyes quickly taking in the messy braids, the patch of his coat where fur was now absent- and how did that happen? Probably all the pulling and tugging those disgusting goblins did- and the still ever present smirk and dimple combination. The same look that Kili knew to cause trouble wherever they traveled. Sometimes for good, though mostly for the contrary- for some reason, many dwarrows and men alike took it as a personal challenge. In a sense, Kili understood. The self-confidence and self-assurance his brother practically poured out was grating to the nerves. If Kili didn't love him so much, he'd want to punch him too. And even then, sometimes he still did.

The smirk widened just a bit, the beads at the end of Fili's moustache braids moving with the movement, and Kili didn't resist raising a hand and giving his brother a firm thump over the head. It was left to little brothers to curb their older brother's antics. As always.

"You're not hurt, are you?" he asked with a small grimace because questions liked those weren't openly asked. Kili could see Gloin shooting him a mildly reprimanding look before turning back to company's coin sack and beginning his counting over again. Dwarrows prided themselves in their physical strength above all- except their craft- and to phrase a question in such a way that it implied weakness was usually cause for a brawl among any other dwarf. Kili knew this, but he also knew his brother- and he knew his brother knew him better than to take his words than for their literal meaning.

"Not much more than you, I hope," Fili answered, and the accompanying smile- placating and yet with his ever present hint of cockiness and teasing- made the strange fluttering in Kili's stomach turn wild and rampant and he gasped and frowned. The feeling had been present for a number of years now, decades even, and he'd never questioned it. Fili and he were brothers, kin, and the closest of friends. There was no one Kili considered closer to him, and no one who knew him as well as Fili did. He put it up to their age gap not being large at all- even smaller in dwarven standard- and the fact that the most they spent away from each other at a time was five months. Nothing compared to the 77 years- since Kili was born- that they have been inseparable.

There was bound to be some whispering behind their backs of course. _Not normal_ , and _aren't they too close?_ They mostly came from Men and some from dwarrows native to Ered Luin. When he was younger, Kili had questioned himself; wondering if he was even worse that he already thought, barely sprouting a beard and so tall compared to his age-mates, but his fears were quickly appeased by his brother- who he later learned had used more than words to silence the hushed words- and his mother and uncle. After, it was normal for him to run and greet his brother whenever Fili came back from working with Thorin by almost bawling him over, wrapping both his arms and legs around him. It felt normal to him, and good and easy- everything with Fili had always been easy.

It was with as much easiness now that he brought one hand up to cup around Fili's stubble cheek, head leaning in that tiny bit closer. Kili's heart felt like it was about to pop right out of his chest, and he could see from the corner of his eye as Bilbo raised both eyebrows high up in question, before turning around and actually _smacking_ away Thorin's hand as the dwarf tried tugging at one of the bandages wrapped tightly around his torso. Kili paid them almost no attention, only focusing on the bright blue eyes staring into his own, Fili's dimple clear in the light given by the crackling fire.

"I'm glad," Kili whispered, and meant it only for Fili's ears. They weren't supposed to make a big deal out of anything- it wasn't their custom. Showing weakness was probably as bad as having a short beard, and Kili rather not carry both of those traits around. He rubbed a soothing thumb over a small darkening bruise on Fili's cheek, feeling the chuckle reverberate through his hand rather than hearing it.

"I'm not some little dwarfling you need to be looking after, Kili," Fili said, and the sureness of his tone aggravated Kili as much as it endear Fili to him. It was something uniquely his brother, just like the leather and iron scent that permanently clung to his skin. Kili would know, having spent already many nights pressed against Fili; mostly for warmth on their tiring journey, and other times for comfort, if not habit.

Kili knocked their forehead together in retaliation, not as hard as he could have, but definitely sharper than he sometimes did. That earned him another laugh that went almost unheard as their sudden closeness- he didn't really think about pressing his forehead to Fili's before doing it; it was something he'd done so many times before- made him hold his breath. Kili could have sworn his heart skipped a beat completely as he felt breath that wasn't his own wash over his face, smelling of the pipe weed Fili was smoking, feeling it almost curling around his own mouth.

A beat of silence passed between them, the warmth of Fili's forehead against his own grounding him in the moment, yet not enough to remind him they were surrounded by other people. Kili felt his eyes closing on their own, head tilting a little bit to the side, feeling Fili's own hand come up and tangle at the back of his neck, the pressure sending a shiver down his spine. So close- just another bit forward and Kili would be kissing his brother, doing something he never knew he wanted or needed until it was literally right in front of him and for the taking-

But of course, because this was Kili and his life nowadays was nothing but running from things that wanted to kill them and hiding personal knowledge from meddling older dwarrows; he didn't get to take Fili's lips with his own- oh and they were chapped, probably by the wind and Kili could just imagine the way they would catch against his in that case. Instead he jerked back from Fili's steadily tightening hold, hissing as his hand pulled on his hair, and turning around to glare at Nori. The thief was whistling to himself, juggling another big rock on his hand- _who throws rocks at people they're supposed to be allies with?!-_

"Don't eat in front of starving dwarves lad," Nori said, one intricate eyebrow going up at Kili's sputtering and Fili's more than mild put off look; before the implications of his words slammed full into both brothers, the others watching in amusement as their faces took on pink hues. Bilbo still looked dreadfully confused, and kept shooting Gandalf looks, as if asking the wizard. His only answer was a twinkling eye that Kili could see even from his spot and made the color on his cheeks brighten even more.

Kili turned back to Fili, sliding besides him this time and opting to slouch and hide his blushing face on his brother's shoulder. He felt silent laughter coursing through Fili at that, and couldn't help the small smile that came to his lips.

There's always next time; and Kili will make sure to be surrounded by nothing but open space and a furlong or two away from any other living being.

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt was: "ALMOST KISSING. like getting so close that they start to close their eyes and hold their breath and then SOMETHING HAPPENS and they jump apart, that is MORE VALUABLE THAN ANY ACTUAL KISSING"
> 
> This was my first time ever delving into Tolkien fandom territory when it comes to writing, so I'm all kinds of nervous. Doesn't help that I picked some """brotherly love""" to start in. Heh.


End file.
